The little book of verse titled Ol' S.O.B. Sez is a collection of cowboy limericks and verse by S. Omar Barker. The book was published posthumously in 1998 by friends and admirers of this old cowboy and "first-hand western writer." Most of what is in the book, subtitled Cowboy Limericks, are not limericks at all, but everything is delightful and squeaky clean.
        The following is about as raunchy as this old cowpoke got:

A cowgal way out in Wyoming
Went out for a ride in the gloaming,
        It's a purdy good hunch
        That she met a cowpunch:
When she came in her hair needed combing!

        Well, Birch felt compelled to write an alternative and even less risqué explanation for this young woman's disheveled condition.

That cowgal out there in Wyoming,
At dusk felt the need to go roaming.
        She was hit by a tractor,
        And coyotes attacked her,
And that's why her hair needed combing!

        Another by S. Omar Barker appears in the little book, this one telling of a young woman from another western state.

A cowpuncher out in Dakota
Fell hard for a gal named Cleota,
        But when close by her side
        He was always tongue tied,
So he borrowed a pencil an' wrota!

        Oops... Birch is about to turn a clean limerick into one that must get PG-13 rating. The temptation was just too great.

This cowpoke was quick to unveil her,
With conscious intent then to nail her.
        But before intromission
        He asked her permission
But to do so he had to E-mail her.

        Current social events or concerns have always been the source of topic for limericks.

The old woman who lived in a shoe
Was quite pregnant and soon would be due.
        But her HMO said,
        "Unless you're near dead,
Your maternity benefit's through."

        On a musical note...

A man who had played the bassoon
Was heard whistling a hillbilly tune.
        And although it's not fair
        He was moved from first chair,
And forbidden to play Claire de lune.

        Commentary on the high cost of marriage.

You know why to marry is neat?
My grandmother said (I'll repeat),
        "Two can, my grandson,
        Live as cheaply as one,
If one of you just doesn't eat."

Forget all that romantic prose,
In marriage the money just goes.
        So don't ever forget,
        That you'll end up in debt,
And your wife will end up in new clothes.

        Thoughts on the taking of vitamins and such.

Take your A and your D and some C,
Any you guys don't forget to take Z,
        And what can I say,
        There's D-H-E-A,
Washed down with a strong herbal tea.

        Thoughts on my limericks writing.

The object for me is just fun,
High praise, I've not readily won.
        I'm rarely terrific,
        But somewhat prolific,
'Though bad, I'm much worse with a pun!

CHECK THIS PAGE FREQUENTLY FOR ADDITIONAL CLEAN LIMERICKS. 03/27/01

Under 18 and interested in writing poetry? Check out the upwords site!

I'M AN ADULT AND I'M READY FOR THE DIRTY ONES

TAKE ME BACK TO THE HOW-TO PAGE

THE PAGE OF ADDITIONAL COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS

I'LL CHECK OUT THE BOOKSTORE NOW

GET HELP WITH A LIMERICK YOU ARE TRYING TO WRITE

---

Birch Bio & Links      Dedication to G. Legman     PEC Library Limericks Bibliography

---